#2 Office Has Been Shut and I Finally Have Some Time on My Hands
Phew. Such a hectic 6 day week. As a (somewhat) new recruit, my time is split between learning the existing body of work at office while doing what I can to contribute towards the ongoing development. Even when I’m back from office, I usually have office work scheduled. Not recommended, I know. But I tell myself that all this work at home is only until I’ve got the system in place (and the necessary info in my head), until I am as comfortable discussing the project as my more experienced teammates. I’ve been pushing myself a little too hard, I know. Those flashes of headache that had begun manifesting during my lonely final year project at college have occurred a couple of times this past one week, making their presence felt when I rest my head on the fingertips of my right hand. Just keep doing what you’re doing, I’d tell myself.
My workplace is a huge gathering. People from all across the city flock to it, every morning in buses, trains and personal transport. Nobody can make a reasonable guess of the number of people one comes in contact with on an average working day. Which makes me super relieved that we’ve been given off from today until the 31st of this month. A much needed break for me, while I shut myself indoors and bask in all the free time. Those projects that I’ve been putting off for three months can now be allocated some mental resources. Unlike my college vacations that are interrupted by the happy distractions of family, here I am, alone in my rented apartment, with some rice in the kitchen, uninterrupted water, electricity, newspaper, waste collection services and internet (for today, at least. Dunno about tomorrow, or the days after that).
I’d started tweeting daily, with snippets of things I scribbled in my diary or a piece of online content that I enjoyed. But my initial plan to tweet for 100 days had to be cut short by day 10 due to two reasons. a) I was getting far too exhausted upon returning from office to be able to think clearly and put out even 140 characters. b) More importantly, I was observing a mismatch between my priorities and those of the world.
This priorities mismatch bothers me. I wish to think about the world and make sense of its complex interactions, bit by bit. At the very least, I wish to be informed about the happenings. Though I squint at the newspaper every evening before falling asleep, I know for a fact that I aren’t satisfied with my lack of tangible actions towards the society. Gotta figure out a balance.
So yeah, I’m here, with some much wished for free time on my hands, with all the necessary ingredients for some good work at my disposal. I’ve set aside a set of guidelines for this week of solitude and learning (mindless YouTube consumption only during 9–10 pm, getting my 7 hours of sleep at night and avoiding day-time naps, sharing my progress with friends every night so that we all stay motivated etc.)
I’m also trying to get used to silence, and doing nothing. Usually I fill all my downtime with listening to an audiobook or watching vlogs on how people living on the other side of the globe with absolutely nothing in common with me spend their time. But now I’ve decided to listen to myself for a while and get comfortable with my voice, and see if I really am as disciplined as I flatter myself to be ;)
