Week 48/52

I know it even before she picks up the phone. It’s been more than a month since I last called her. She’s one of the few close friends I can cry to. This time, I have failed her. I should’ve noticed her absence from office. I should’ve called her sooner.
She picks up. I know it even before she tells me. Given these circumstances, there’s only one explanation for prolonged absence from office. I ask her how she feels. She’s alright now, she says. But she gotta hang up the phone right now, she’s got another call.
I’m sorry, I want to say. As always, I swallow my sorry and say buh-bye.

I’m attending this webinar being conducted by a friend. I’m sleepy and hungry, it’s dinner time on a weekday. There are some 30 odd strangers listening to the webinar. He starts narrating a conversation he had with me, without taking my name, taking me as an example of choices gone wrong. I listen, bemused. My laptop chooses that moment to shut down. Great. Now he probably thinks I took offence and left. I run for the charger. It takes another 5 minutes to get back on track. The speaker has moved onto another ‘real life example’. Lol. Wonder what the moral of my story had been.

The goal for December is not to take any casual leaves. Back in college, I would bunk classes that didn’t interest me without a second thought. I’d sit in the library if there were back-to-back classes that were to be bunked. Else I’d sit in the adjacent classroom. I’d never choose to endure the class itself. It’s not like there were a whole lot of such classes; the professors made most lectures a joy, but nonetheless, my discomfort tolerance level was low. These days, there are some mornings when I just wanna put as much distance as possible between my colleagues and me. The temptation to take those casual leaves before they expire with the expiry of the year. I’m not gonna succumb to it. Not gonna take any CLs this month. Fingers crossed.